<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0"><channel><title>Real News — Shitpost Games</title><link>https://shitpostgames.com/real-news/</link><description>Entirely fictional satire. Events, characters and quotations are invented.</description><language>en</language><item><title>UFO makes first contact. Parking warden asks it to move.</title><link>https://shitpostgames.com/real-news/ufo-parking-dispute/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">https://shitpostgames.com/real-news/ufo-parking-dispute/</guid><description>Fictional satire: Humanity’s biggest discovery has been temporarily relocated because it was blocking the trolley return.</description></item><item><title>Zombie asks cinema to stop making every film about his dietary requirements.</title><link>https://shitpostgames.com/real-news/zombie-movie-complaint/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">https://shitpostgames.com/real-news/zombie-movie-complaint/</guid><description>Fictional satire: “I contain multitudes,” says man whose entire screen representation is apparently one long buffet queue.</description></item><item><title>Man proposes putting the moon on a timesheet. The moon requests annual leave.</title><link>https://shitpostgames.com/real-news/moon-timesheet/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">https://shitpostgames.com/real-news/moon-timesheet/</guid><description>Fictional satire: An efficiency scheme for the night sky has immediately encountered a difficult conversation about overtime.</description></item></channel></rss>